I write these annual reports of the people and events that meant the most to me last year as a way of counting blessings and reminding myself of what is important. As it says in Ecclesiastes, “If someone lives many years, let him rejoice in them all, and let him remember the days of darkness, since they will be many.”
These are my remembrances, banked for the darker days.
Return to Hilton Head
Years ago when our children were little, we began vacationing yearly at Hilton Head, South Carolina. On our first trip there, Lesley learned how to swim and Whit, just a toddler, wore shoes on the beach because he did not like sand in his toes. We have Hilton Head vacation photos that span nursery school to college.
When the kids left home we stopped going to Hilton Head in favor of Destin, Florida – a bit closer and a favorite of our friends.
This past year provided the opportunity for a Hilton Head return. I was hired to do a research project in South Carolina, which would leave only a short drive to the beach. I found a one-bedroom beachfront condo and carved out the days.
Would you believe the condo we rented was in the same place as the one we first rented with our children back in 1983? Yes, that means our unit was quite dated, but we acclimated.
Best of all, Janice and I had genuine fun. It was great to ride bikes on the wide, flat beach at low tide. We revisited some of the favorite family places and discovered new ones.
Our favorite restaurant from the old days was The Old Fort Pub, which we would splurge and take our kids to, even though it is not really a family restaurant. This time Janice and I enjoyed a quiet, romantic dinner there. Watching the sun melt into Skull Creek through the twisted fingers of the mossy oaks, holding the hand of the love of my life, is the sweetest of memories.
The Snowmen Ride Again
For the seventh consecutive year Operation Snowmen went off without a hitch. Great snow, great friends. Using the convenient (albeit pricey) Epic Pass, we skied the triple crown of Breckenridge, Beaver Creek and Vail. For the first time in my nascent skiing career, I got experienced in Vail’s back bowls and Blue Sky Basin. It was incredible. Even the part where Jonathan Hill and I got lost on an ugly double-black.
I love the Snowmen. Thanks, guys for always waiting for me at the bottom. I’m pumped about year eight at Copper Mountain.
Whit Stiles Writes Again
My son Whit had two books published last year. He started writing for Grandin-Hood Press, a publishing company owned by Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer Robin Hood. The first book, a history of Maryville College, came out early in the year. The second one, a true work of art focused on The National Parks and the work of the National Parks Conservation Association, came out in late summer.
My son is a multi-talented man and a skilled writer. Seeing his work in print is a great joy.
Living United
Our daughter Lesley continues to be a light within our community as CEO of the United Way of Greater Chattanooga. This past year UW helped publish a landmark report on ALICE families. ALICE stands for adults with limited income, employed, which describes so many hard-working families that are always one illness or missed paycheck away from poverty and homelessness.
The United Way is working through a coalition of business leaders, schools and other social organizations to develop long-term resources to help ALICE families rise out of near-poverty to long-term sustainability. It is God’s work, and it is a thrill to see her hard at it.
Outstanding In-laws
Daughter-in-law Sarah and son-in-law Daniel also provide immense pride and joy. This past year Sarah and a friend organized their entire neighborhood to participate in a special illumination to kick off the Christmas season. Their community near Franklin Tennessee is quite large, and the task of bringing everyone together to set out their bags and light their candles had to be daunting.
In the end, perhaps a thousand neighbors came together for a festive night of community and peace. Well done, Sarah.
Daniel’s construction business continues to grow and he tackled some large medical buildings in 2019. He also tackled the job of coaching the Rivermont Rangers, a scrappy team of eight and nine year olds (including Charlie) who turned out to be very good. “Ranger Danger” was the chant from the stands as the team matured, practiced great sportsmanship, and claimed the league title. Then Daniel led a new group of boys (including Charlie) through the all-star season, where they made their way deeper into the state tournament than any Rivermont team before.
The Fab Five
Perennial joys are our five grandchildren – characters all. Let me elaborate
While Whit wrote two books last year, his oldest boy, Oliver, wrote maybe 200. Oliver loves to write story after story, which he puts in book form, complete with chapters and illustrations. He is inspired to write because he loves to read. He always has a book in his hand, even when he is supposed to be bathing, eating or sleeping.
Five-year-old August is the builder – Legos, Lincoln Logs, MagnaTiles, whatever. He does not need directions. He is also the comedian:
August: “Mama, what day is it?”
Mama: “Monday”
August: “How did THAT happen?”
Pen, the youngest and only girl, is the queen of the grand pack. She’ll put on a tutu, a Batman mask, and stand on a chair and cook dinner. This past year was personally memorable because Pen finally came over to my side. After an initial two-years of looking at me with fear and loathing, she is now my buddy. Yes, Pen, I will play with you.
Sam, the elder statesman of the grandchildren started school at Baylor this year. How did THAT happen? He is cut from the same first-born cloth as his mother, intense to please and lead. He is playing point guard, making good grades, and turning into a teenager right before our eyes. How DID that happen?
Charlie is right behind Sam, but cutting his own path. Charlie does things his way. Carrying a life-sized, stuffed golden retriever onto an airplane is a very Charlie thing to do. Taking his real-life golden retriever with him into the shower is also a Charlie thing. Charlie has his father’s knack for fixing what’s broken and bringing order out of chaos. But he is also skilled at taking things apart and making chaos out of order. And whatever he does, you laugh.
The children are a blessing, and so are their parents. Thank you Sarah and Whit and Lesley and Daniel for the faithful ways you are teaching and loving your kids.
A Berry Blue Day
During a summer visit of all the grand-fellers, we went blueberry picking, which was an experience I heartily recommend for every child in this X-Box generation. It was refreshing to wander among the bushes searching for the plumpest and bluest, picking some and eating some right off the branches.
Afterwards we all had lunch at Chick-Fil-A and then home to play and rest. At some point in the evening, August declared his lovey was missing. For those of you who need initiation, a lovey is piece of cloth that once was an animal of some sort, now carried, slept with, fondled and washed beyond all recognition. Some lovies also have great addictive power, and such is the case with August's. He can't sleep without it.
We searched everywhere. I called the blueberry farm and asked them to search. Convinced the lovey must have been dropped amidst the chaos of Chick-Fil-A, I badgered the manager several times on the phone. I scoured the pages of Amazon, looking for a replacement match. No luck.
After about five frantic hours, August went to our basement, reached into a rack of shoes there, and with the flourish of a magician announced, "here it is!" You had to laugh.
A Berry Blue Day
During a summer visit of all the grand-fellers, we went blueberry picking, which was an experience I heartily recommend for every child in this X-Box generation. It was refreshing to wander among the bushes searching for the plumpest and bluest, picking some and eating some right off the branches.
Afterwards we all had lunch at Chick-Fil-A and then home to play and rest. At some point in the evening, August declared his lovey was missing. For those of you who need initiation, a lovey is piece of cloth that once was an animal of some sort, now carried, slept with, fondled and washed beyond all recognition. Some lovies also have great addictive power, and such is the case with August's. He can't sleep without it.
We searched everywhere. I called the blueberry farm and asked them to search. Convinced the lovey must have been dropped amidst the chaos of Chick-Fil-A, I badgered the manager several times on the phone. I scoured the pages of Amazon, looking for a replacement match. No luck.
After about five frantic hours, August went to our basement, reached into a rack of shoes there, and with the flourish of a magician announced, "here it is!" You had to laugh.
Utah and Colorado
In June, Janice and I and our travelling buddies Raymo and Jill took off for Telluride, Colorado and the 46thTelluride Bluegrass Festival. It was unexpectedly cold in southwest Colorado, but we toughed it out with minimal runs to the Patagonia store.
The best parts of the trip were visits to three National Parks we had not visited before – Arches, Canyonlands and the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Of these, Canyonlands was the greatest surprise. The sheer immensity of it means it cannot be explored or experienced without many days. So, we might have to go back.
Arches is also a wonder. And there are plenty of arches there to merit the title, no matter what Jill says.
A Death in the Family
My brother’s wife Tracie passed away in September. I did not know her well, which is my loss. Cliff’s nickname for Tracie was Wonder Woman, not only because she loved that character and movie, but mostly because of the courageous way she fought her cancer until the end.
It was incredibly sad to be in Pennsylvania for Tracie’s funeral, but it was also very uplifting and encouraging to spend time with those who knew and cared for her. I admire the obvious love my brother had for his wife and was moved by his thoughtful remembrances. I pray for the new year to bring fresh encouragement to Cliff and sons Donnie and Connor.
We also lost some real heroes of the faith from our church, Brainerd Baptist. Paul George and Vernon Cox were World War II veterans who served the Lord faithfully right up to their last days. Lyda Bostic taught children in the preschool every week until death came in her sleep at age 92. These people were heroic to me.
Beach Reading
Janice and I were able to return to Santa Rosa Beach for a quiet week in the fall, and again we had great fun and good rest. One of my joys at the beach is the time to read whole books.
Three books that had an impact on me this past year – all of them beach reads – were Jayber Crow, Ghost Rider and Talking to Strangers. If you are looking for a book recommendation, Google any of these.
The Creepy Creeper
Since Sam and Charlie were small, I’ve been making up adventure stories about Cham and Sarley, two good boys who are always finding themselves in some kind of trouble. Despite their growing maturity, they still occasionally ask for me to tell them one at bedtime.
During our annual fall weekend riding the Virginia Creeper, they asked for a Cham and Sarley story. Inspired maybe by the rustic cabin we had rented, I made up one about how the Virginia Creeper earned its name from a ghostly woman who wandered the woods looking for her husband, lost to the Civil War.
Some Cham and Sarley stories are better than others. This is one I might have to write down soon.
Faith + Work 101
A few years ago Clark Taylor and I started a project called the Chattanooga Institute for Faith + Work. Clark carries much more of the load than I do. In October we launched a new training program called 101. Lane Ford and Tammy Ellis led the classes with me, and it was a great experience. We are looking forward to repeating the course a couple of times this year.
Home Sweat Home
Our house is over 90 years old and 2019 was the year of fixing things. Fixing some aged plumbing turned into a bathroom remodel. A big shout out to Danny Johnson, with whom Janice spent a lot of time. I was not jealous.
And then we decided it was time to replace our original, asbestos tile roof. It leaked, and we couldn’t find anyone willing to repair it. Janice and I called the project our Viking River Cruise.
Decembering
As we enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving in the home of Sarah’s parents (thank you Mike and Stephanie!) we men were persistently reminded that because Thanksgiving was so “late,” the Christmas preparatory season would be unusually short.
The logic that there are still 25 days between November 30 and December 25 held no sway. It was time to get busy.
So we picked out a tree – number 49 for Janice and me – and it might be the best ever. Turns out being among the first in America to buy a tree gets you a pretty good selection.
The week before Christmas the Nashville branch of the Stiles tree came to town and we had all the family together under one roof. To celebrate Pen’s birthday we went to Build-A-Bear and built a Batman, a dragon, a lion, a Porg and one bear.
While walking through the mall, stuffed toys in hand, we spotted Santa just standing around without a single child around him. So we fixed that and got all five grandchildren together for classic photo.
About a week later some of the children were found to have lice. Could it have been Old St. Nick’s beard? We’ll never know, but we all learned a lesson. When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, be very, very specific.
As the year comes to a close, I’m reminded of so many people who blessed my life this past year. Some I have not mentioned yet include the growing team at The Johnson Group, Don Erwin, our life group from church, the Fries, the Skinners, the Baggets, our sweet neighbors, George Skonberg and Janice’s last remaining family – John and Gale.
And thank you Janice. You are the highlight of every year.
I have a natural tendency to focus on the negative, to recall the disappointments of life. In 2019 I caught only one fish. I did not ride my motorcycle. I exercised too little and put on too much weight.
But in this annual diary I am reminded that life is good and precious, and that I am blessed beyond all measure. Thank you Lord for another year among people I love and the beauty of your creation.
Happy New Year to all!
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